Let a man come in and do the popcorn

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 13:56:28 GMT

Wow, it's been a long time since I was here. If any of you are interested, I have a new blog at

http://lawyrrob.blogspot.com/

No particular reason. Just seemed like time for a change. I just started, so you can get in on the ground floor. Ha!!

Thanks to the old anarchist for nudging me!

my life in six minute increments...

Wed, 08 Feb 2006 18:04:33 GMT

So I'm starting to feel more like a lawyer. How, you may ask? Allow me to demonstrate.

Now, when I get a phone call from a friend, where before I would want to uselessly shoot the shit all day, I find my eyes drifting to the clock on the phone, dividing the number by six, and fretting over the tenths of an hour I have lost to this time burglar! I've become what I used to despise. At last, I am an adult.

Seriously though, things are going well. I had my first appearance in federal court. The judge asked the firm for an "experienced trial lawyer" to act as "friend of the court" in a sanctions hearing. This meant I was to act as the court's lawyer, cross-examining witnesses on her behalf. Gulp.

Well, I prepared. Good thing. It's an incredibly convoluted case involving shady financial transactions. And, when I got there, I found out I had to go first, before any of the other lawyers in the room. Gulp.

Well, three hours later I emerged with my own dignity and the reputation of the firm intact. All in all a great experience. Now I'm just concentrating on improving my writing. And my general leghal demeanor. Things with Melanie seem to be going okay.

I've also been invited to go to the Innocence Project conference in Seattle next month as the rep for AZ's branch. That should be fun. Never been to the great Northwest.

I guess that's all for now. Cheers.

What I did this weekend.

Tue, 03 Jan 2006 17:52:20 GMT

I have no tales of New Year's debauchery to relate. I spent the day with my children, at the inter-tribal powwow here in Tucson.

It was a good time. Frybread was enjoyed by all. And the dancing was cool. A lot of dancers in magnificent outfits, the girls had their heads on swivels the whole time. There were alot of Sioux from various tribes there, lots of bright feathers and beads. Some very good drumming circles.

The highlight for me came during one of the open dances, where members of various tribes walked out to dance together while the drumming circles traded off. There was one, a group of Lakota men that had a very powerful sound. They all started singing, deep, rumbling older men's voices full of power and gravity.

While they sang, I think all of our attention was drawn to a solitary dancer. She was about seventeen, beautiful and Lakota. She carried a fan made of eagle feathers and had a magnificent, dignified presence to her dance. While the men sang, she suddenly started singing too, the same song, in a higher register with a beautiful, cutting voice that had all the pride and sadness of her people's journey in it. It was wonderful. And haunting. I don't think I'll ever forget it.

There were other cool things. I hung out with a Navajo family from Gallup for a while. They painted the girls faces with butterflies and the children played together while we hung out and talked. I talked to a White Mountain Apache man who remarked that I had my hands full with the girls. I asked about his kids and he told me the saddest story. His eighteen year old son was killed in a drunk driving accident fifteen years previous to that exact day. Sad. But the day also marked his sobriety day. Hasn't had a drop since.

Other news. I moved, again, to a house two doors down. Had a little landlord tenant dispute with the earlier people. HAd to jet early.

I guess that's it for now. A good holiday all things considered.

Ho ho ho...

Tue, 27 Dec 2005 19:21:48 GMT

So I sent her an email today telling her I couldn't do it anymore. An email. Geez.

I really did try. And I guess that's worth something. I learned a lot about women I think. And about myself. I wish it didn't have to be this way. But there are things I just can't change. About her I mean. And there are arguments I'm just never going to win.

The bottom line I guess, is that I could never make her see that there are more important things in life than cash. Or a job. Or other people's feelings. There's love. And two people who realy love each other should at least try to be together.

I spent a lot of time trying to talk her into something. I spent a lot of time doing all the things she said I had to to keep her love. I did them. And just recently I realized she'd never taken a single step toward me herself. And that there would always be some excuse. And some reason to put things off. On and on.

I couldn't let it go on because I need to save the last shreds of my dignity and self respect. I ended it because I knew it would continue to go on. I sent her an email because if I talk to her, I'm going to beg her to stay with me.

I feel so old. So tired. So...so very tired. I do hope she's happy. I used to call her Moonbeam. Now, I think I'll go throw up again.

Thanks for the kind words.

Life and the things that happen in it...

Fri, 24 Jun 2005 17:01:58 GMT

Hey all,

Things are good. At least two of the tepary bean plants have come up. We got the first monsoon storm last night. Earthshaking thunder, stobing lightning and the smell of rain in the desert. One of the wonderful things about the city in which I live.

Been doing a lot of random housework, putting in a gate, clearing debris, etc. Hmm. What else? Oh yeah, one more thing.

I've made most of the entries in this blog private for a particular reason. Why, you might ask? Because a number of people I know and tangentialy know apprently have little or nothing going on in their own lives. And they enjoy perusing this journal for whatever amusing little tidbit they can then glean and pass amongst themselves like a bowl of warm beandip. Frankly, I've never had a problem with that if people have their own journals and are willing to share their own thoughts/feelings about whatever is going on. And usually I don't have a problem with voyeurs just passing through as long as they keep their thoughts to themselves and I don't have to hear about the gossip from third parties.

Anyway, I made the mistake of leaving an entry visible a few weeks ago and lo and behold, have heard about it from a few people, friends of mine, who have been viciously pumped for whatever gossip/salacious tidbits these people didn't have the imagination to simply make up themselves. Besides the obvious annoyance this has caused, it has also wounded me somewhat to find that folks who are obstensibly friends of mine have been trolling others for info about me, rather than simply calling and asking me personally what is up. This leads me to believe that any concern they might have is not for me or my well-being, but simply a prurient interest in gossip about me. I would ask therefore, that these people stop it. And I would also like them to rest assured that I will not make the mistake again of leaving anything interesting in this journal public.

Good day.

I said good day sir!

milestones...

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 23:25:56 GMT

The youngest had her third birthday. She's growing up great, no thanks to me. She's truly her own person and a joy to watch develop. The oldest just lost her first tooth, two of them in fact. Very traumatic for her. She was a little freaked out by the taste of blood in her mouth I think. But, she got two dollars from the tooth fairy, and is now no doubt planning to somehow remove the rest.

I'm blessed to have two such wonderful females entrusted, at least partly, to my care. I do my best, but most of the credit for the wonderful people they are must go to them. They're simply innately wonderful. I feel more like a caretaker sometimes than a parent. My job is to keep them safe and simply let them do their thing. If I can keep the outside world away, they should be fine.

Melanie moved in. The girls met her on Saturday. The oldest is now fascinated by all things sewing and quilting. I knew she would be. The youngest accepted her too with much smiling and waving of arms. I knew they would. There's just a wonderful caring, and secure aura about her.

I got a horrible sunburn while putting in a vegetable bed. It hurts. The positive news is that my sacrifice means more squash for everyone. And beans! And chiles! And, well, you get the idea.

I really like my new house. Our new house. I never realized how much I missed birdsong in the morning. And the way the light is in that wonderful city I call home. I'm going back there tonight, to the arms of the most wonderful woman in the world. Lucky me.

women

Wed, 25 May 2005 16:27:03 GMT

I'm not going to say something male and dramatic like I don't understand women. Because that's not necessarily true. I have a lot of women friends, and we get along splendidly. What I don't understand are relationship dynamics.

I've just never been particularly good at maintaining relationships. There's a lot of evidence of that. My wife, any number of girlfriends can attest to it. A friend of mine told me I was having a hard time with Melanie because it was the first adult relationship with a woman I've had. And he's right.

I really want this to work. I wonder if I'm really capable of it. Well, I'll try my best. That's all I can do right?

On a positive note, I went to the D-Backs game last night. Bad game for them. Russ Ortiz needs to learn to throw a first pitch strike now and then. And mixing in a fastball or two wouldn't hurt. What was nice were the seats. One of the judges gave me his season ticket seat. About fifteen rows off the third base line. Awesome. I still have a hard time getting used to perks like this. It just feels like a dream.

The company was great too. I sat next to Larry Hammond who besides being a legendary lawyer around here, is a super great guy. No one gives more of himself than Larry. He was very nice to me. Having a man like that treat you like a peer is heady and disorienting at the same time. How the hell did I end up here?

Huh.

light at the end of the tunnel...

Tue, 03 May 2005 00:17:12 GMT

Three months till the end of the clerkship. I went to Tucson and looked at a few houses I might rent. One of them is spitting distance from where a good friend lives. Another is a great old place in a neighborhood that might be a little too collegey. The last is a Quonset hut.

That's right, a Quonset hut. It'd be like living in Hogan's Heroes. Hogannnnn!!!!

I want to live in the first place. Clean and modern, it's owned by two architects. They might even be into selling it to me in a couple of years. That would be cool. Anyway, let's keep our fingers crossed. I can't wait to have my own place again. My own bed. My own furniture. It's been a long time. And I'm sick of living with my life in boxes, feeling like I don't have a home. I think that feeling is responsible in large part for my current explosions of angst.

Anyway, I think I'm going to go out and grab some carne adovada tonight. I just love that stuff. And a bit of smoked pork (insert your stupid joke here) and a couple of beers sound really good right now.

Man do I need to get some sleep.

big surprise...

Tue, 19 Apr 2005 18:02:15 GMT

You Have A Type A Personality

A

You are hyper, energetic, and always on the mood
You tend to succeed at everything you attempt
And if you don't succeed at first, you quickly climb your way to the top!

You could be called a workaholic, but you also make time for fun
As long as it's high energy and competitive, you're interested
You have the perfect personality for business and atheltic success

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

It left out the part about being a narcissistic, ego-maniacal, neurotic asshole.

fine feathered friends...

Thu, 07 Apr 2005 16:27:53 GMT

Not to get really weird and goofy, but...

I've always had a strange relationship with birds. Of all sorts. When important changes occur in my life, I start seeing a lot of crows. And ravens. Through the window they'll just be sitting in the yard, peering at me, bursting into flight when they see me, or squawking and croaking while I walk past. Wtahcing, and I can't help thinking, laughing. Example: I went to Flagstaff to see my Sweetie. When I got out of my car, I heard the croaking. I looked up and saw an enormous raven staring at me, tongue lolling, ruffling his feather, shifting feet on the window sill of what turned out to be the room I'd been assigned. There's nothing particularly sinister about it. But I don't like being laughed at.

I also see hawks a lot when something is about to happen. Ex: I walked out of the Court one day and stopped to light a cigarette. I heard a soft thud, and a hawk dropped from the sky with a smaller bird in its talons. It looked me, strangled the bird with its foot and slowly flew off. This was about twenty feet or so from me. And these things have happened before. When I was a boy, a hawk landed on the treebranch outside my window with an enormous black snake in its feet. As the snake writhed around its legs, it tore it to pieces with its beak. I remember the bright red blood shining like beads of red mercury on its face. I won't go into what happened after these events. Not necessarily bad things. But big things.

And then there's just the birds that seem to, forgive the pun, flit in and out of my life. Example: I like to garden. When I've got some beds going, I like to take a couple of beers and just fiddle a while, pull some weeds, look for parasites, etc. One day, a small finch showed up. For the next two days, he followed me around the yard. When I say follow, I mean to say that he hopped after me all over the place, sometimes flying just a bit to stay ahead of me, then looking at me to see if I'd catch up. When I'd stop to do something, he'd hop up and sit right next to me, within a foot or so of my hands. And he'd just sit there, watching whatever I was doing. For hours. This went on all weekend. Whenever I walked outside, he'd suddenly appear, flapping and bobbing. He wouldn't get anywhere near my kids, or my wife and would fly off when they came around. On the third day, he just suddenly took off and flew away.

Anyway, I've just been thinking about it lately.

There're crows around here.

gay marriage...

Tue, 15 Mar 2005 17:08:20 GMT

I just read the opinion from the San Francisco Court. It's really very interesting. He makes a pretty good argument that the same sex marriage laws are really gender classifications and thus due strict scrutiny. He also makes a pretty argument that the laws couldn't even make it past a rational basis test. That's very interesting to me, because he then proceeds to demolish the favorite argument of the family values set, that marriage is here to promote the birth of children. Well, if so, why should menopausal or infertile women be allowed to marry? Very interesting. Cheers to the judge. For a trial court minute entry, that's a well-reasoned and thought-provoking piece of work.

By popular request, here's a link to the decision:

http://news.findlaw.com/hdocs/docs/glrts/inremarriage31405opn.pdf

my own personal ecosystem...

Thu, 10 Mar 2005 19:00:22 GMT

So there's been a lot of rain around Phoenix. This corresponded with an explosion in the insect population, namely mosquitos. This was bothersome. I don't like bugs, but they like me, and my soft, white, Polish ass.

So I went sort of nuts trying to kill these buzzing annoyances with little success. There's always more than you can kill. Sort of like patent lawyers. So I did what any self-respecting person in my situation would have done. I gave up and prepared to be eaten.

But then salavation arrived in the form of a small brown spider. She, that's how I think of her anyway, spun a web right over my window. No more mosquitos. What sort of gift does one buy a spider? I'm thinking some fabulous shoes.

In other news, I picked up a Turkish hitchhiker on the way to basketball yesterday. That's the danger of riding through downtown with your windows opened. Anyway, he wanted a ride down to the next busstop, but it turned out where he was going was about a block from where I was going, so what the hell right? Anyway, he jsut starts yammering away about everything from politics to Israel, to the food of the sultans, to the Turkish military, before finally arriving at the topic that really fascinated him, black people. Man, does he hate black people. Apparently, black people are black because God has marked them as sinners. Wow. This from a guy who is probably mistaken for Hispanic and giver shit for it three or four times a day. I was a little stunned. I pretty much just pulled over at the light and said, "this is as far as I'm going. Good luck."

People. No sir, never cared for them.

my life and the John Updike novel it has become.

Mon, 24 Jan 2005 15:38:57 GMT

As many probably suspect, my wife and I are going through a divorce and have been for some time. I don't know why I never wrote about it here, but I didn't. Those who know me are probably unsurprised at the turn of events, my wife and I really haven't been getting along for about five years. I know, I know, but we have kids all right? We wanted to try and make it work. Anyway, things came to a head, again, and we decided we'd be better off without each other. The bottom line: we're good parents, but simply not a couple.

In unrelated news, I'm in love with a woman I knew a long time ago. This is frustrating. I had decided to be alone for quite some time as I was simply sick of relationships, etc. Well. Life had other plans. Among them apparently, was punching me in the stomach over and over. I'm a controlling person. I have no control over her, or the situation involving my children.

So there it is.

An open letter...

Tue, 11 Jan 2005 20:19:12 GMT

I forget a lot of times how many people I know read this site. And I know that some of my recent postings have led many of you to ask questions.

The answer to the question is yes. Those who need/want one, will receive full briefings. Those who are not on a need to know basis with me are free to speculate.

Carry on.

french film...or why I am a sucker

Mon, 27 Dec 2004 23:41:26 GMT

I'm going to rent Amelie and watch it tonight. Thus, in a single move, I will lower my testosterone level by at least a quart. Oh well.

But I love the film. And yes, the actress who stars in it. She's pretty cool.

I'm a sucker for sappy love stories that all work out in the end. So sue me.

(Please do not sue me.)

Things move fast sometimes. I have to remember not to cram so much into a day. I have a tendency to explode like a nuclear bomb.

It's not a good thing.

gordon freeman redux

Thu, 16 Dec 2004 17:02:07 GMT

I got Half Life 2 last weekend. It took an hour of struggling to load it. Was it worth it?

It's so good I tear up when I think about it. Where else will I have the opportunity to use my gravity gun to pick up a giant saw blade and send it hurtling through three or four headcrab zombies?

Sniff, sniff.

my children are unbearably cute...

Thu, 09 Dec 2004 18:43:17 GMT

My daughter is learning about space.

First she set me straight on Mercury. They're very close together. Saturn has rings, made of ice and rocks. Venus is very shiny.

And lastly, and most cute, she said, "Pluto is very far away, and really cold. You'd have to wear a hundred jackets to stay on Pluto!"

Pretty damn cute.

god and jazz...

Thu, 09 Dec 2004 18:31:28 GMT

Forty years ago today, John Coltrane, Jimmy Garrison, Elvin Jones and McCoy Tyner walked into the Impulse Studios to begin recording "A Love Supreme," one of my favorite records, and the cornerstone of the legend that is Trane.

If you've never heard the record, you should.

Here's the straight dope. http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&token=&sql=10:ot67mp9d9fco

days of infamy

Wed, 08 Dec 2004 18:47:31 GMT

Almost forgot. Yesterday was Pearl Harbor Day. Right outside the Court is the anchor from the USS Arizona. They had a ceremony there to commemorate the dead and give thanks to our veterans. A lot of old guys in uniform. Hard not be proud of them. Harder not to drop a few tears for what they went through and lost. We do a very poor job of caring for these men and women. We need to do better.

house musings

Wed, 08 Dec 2004 18:44:28 GMT

Still ttrying to score our boss new pad. Think good thoughts.

On the work side, I got dragooned into a training seminar for judges. They're putting on a mock DUI trial. I get to be the defense attorney. Which means I'll lose, but I get to knock some rust off the trial skills. That's a good thing.

Watched the Amazing Race for the second time ever yesterday. I am a tragic victim of no-cable. You know, I like the show, but I just can't take that curly haired guy who shrieks at his wife all the time. I just want to poke him in the mouth.

Anybody else see the articles about the grilling good ole Rumsfeld got while visiting the troops in Kuwait? Couldn't happen to a nicer guy. http://msnbc.msn.com/id/6676765/

In other news, I'm actually thinking seriously of running for the state legislature. Why? Because, oddly, I really want to help people. There's certainly no glamour or fame in a 24K a year job. To do it, I'll have to find a part time gig to make the monthly nut. Anyone need a car washed?

in this house that I call home...maybe

Mon, 29 Nov 2004 22:28:22 GMT

If we're very lucky, we may be moving into a new house. The absurdly low amount we paid for our present home and the fact that I consolidated the school loans, and the fact that we have almost no other debt may combine to allow us to move into a larger home in a much nicer neighborhood. At the end of a culdesac. The girls would each have their own room. I'd have an office. We'd have a fireplace. And enopugh storage to actually put things away. So, good news. As my two-year old daughter says when she wakes up and you ask her how she is, "Happy today!"

Think good thoughts.

super terrific

Wed, 24 Nov 2004 16:48:54 GMT

http://manoloshoes.blogspot.com/

Perhaps the greatest blog ever created.

me and Prince Harry

Fri, 19 Nov 2004 17:38:56 GMT

I was watching the Clinton thing on TV last night. After that, one of those newszine shows came on. Too tired to get up and turn it off I watched about forty minutes of what Prince Harry's been up to. Some good stuff. He's gotten involved with a bunch of AIDS groups in Africa, particularly those that help children.

So here it is.

There's a rumor in parts of Africa that if an infected man 'sleeps with' a virgin, he will be cured. So younger and younger women have been exposed to sexual abuse. So here's Prince Harry, with a ten month old girl, that was raped. He sat, holding her and stroking her head. She just laid there, looking far too serious for a ten month old baby, slowly blinking her eyes. Everytime he looked at her, he'd start to tear up and quickly look away. I cried. I cried and cried. How could a thing like that happen?

On a positive note, the girl is older now and doing better. She had to have her womb removed, but she can now walk, and actually smiled when Harry picked her up. He made a committment to take care of her for the rest of her life. I'm glad about that.

travelin' man

Tue, 16 Nov 2004 15:36:25 GMT

So I moved into my new temporary abode. It's not nearly as drafty or vermin-infested as the last place. Seriously, the mice I didn't mind. But the cockroaches, I have a real problem with prehistoric insects. Including the President, but that's another story.

Anyway, the place is heated, I have an actual bed, and it's free of the layer of filth and grime that encrusted the other house. And, drumroll, it's free! Thank you Paul.

On another note, I took Maike to her school's bike parade this weekend. It was very very cute. They had a band playing at the front of the parade and the kids all rode, pedalled, walked through the neighborhood, which turned out to applaud.

Other than that, life marches on. A pile of work. Too little time.

town hall

Tue, 09 Nov 2004 16:08:50 GMT

I just got back from my volunteer duty at Arizona Town Hall. Town Hall is an organization that twice a year gathers AZ's leaders together for a frank discussion on an important topic facing the State. In years past they've dealt with AZ's budget crisis, the primary school system, Hispanic issues, etc. This year the topic was water.

My role was that of Recorder. The way the whole thing works is like so. 177 people were invited, broken into five panels. Each panel is in a separate room. A question is presented to the group and a moderator directs the session. I listen to everything that's said and at the end of about an hour, try to forge a consensus statement outof everything that's been said. Then the group proposes changes to the statement. After consensus is reached on a given paragraph, we move on to the next question.

At the end of the day, while everyone on the panel is enjoying free booze, I trudge to a room where I meet up with the other four Recorders and the Report Chairman. There we attempt to take the five separate consensus statements on each question and forge them into a new consensus. This involves a lot of talk and revision and a fair amount of advocacy and argument for your group's point of view. In sum, it's a giant pain in the ass.

There's little more contentious in the State besides water. There are few things more directly tied into the power structure. Example. AZ's economy uis predicated on rapid development. Inside many areas of the state, you cannot build anything unless you prove a sustainable water supply for a hundred years. An acre of urban property without this water supply goes for about 2,000. With it, the same acre goes for 25,000 or more. There was a lot of power in the room I worked. A lot of big dogs who are used to being deferred and listened to. For example, in my room alone, there were two former Congressman, three or four mayors, the head of the Dept. of Water Resources, the director of the Central Arizona Project, the director of the Salt River Project, at least three of the biggest land developer in the State, etc. None of them are shy about telling you exactly how dumb they think you are. And they're not used to checking their egos or their tempers. Suffice to say, I did a lot of tongue biting.

So, I and the other Recorders got together and wrote a final report. The next day, it's distributed at 5 AM. And everyone's up and waiting for it. I was really dreading our group's last caucus, afraid they would be extraordinarily pissed that this or that wasn't in the report. At breakfast, one of the group spotted me an dmarched over to my table. He's a hard bitten majopr cotton farmer. I really thought he was about to chew me out. Instead, he said, "This is a fine report and I want to thank you. It's obvious that you really advocated for us. I appreciate it." Suffice to say, I was a little dumbfounded. But that's the way the morning went. Everyone was happy with the report and with me. A couple people even offered me a job.

From there we went to the plenary session where the report was read line by line and everyone, together in the same room, got the opportunity to stand and suggest alterations and additions. At the end of about seven hours, we had a final report, ready to be submitted to the governor and legislature. I must admit I'm pretty proud of that piece of paper. And I'm proud to have been a part of Town Hall. I don't think I've ever been in a room with that many policy makers and there was no bullshit at all. Everyone was extremely serious about the job we were there to do. Viva Town Hall! Viva me!

On another note, my cousin, Regina Taufen got a major role on what is being called the meanest reality show ever, Film Fakers. It is a mean show. But it is sort of funny. And, she is my cousin. So keep the bad vibes to yourself.